for all of you wondering what im up to these days, here's an update. i'm currently involved in a couple of music endeavours. übermensch(INDUSTRIAL AS FUCK!!!!!!) and AUD, which is my noise band(the one that performs anyway). here are pictures from AUD'S last show and


http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v248/vanity_case101/show916.jpg
http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v248/vanity_case101/show9161.jpg

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v248/vanity_case101/show9163.jpg
http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v248/vanity_case101/show9164.jpg
http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v248/vanity_case101/show9165.jpg
http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v248/vanity_case101/show9166.jpg
http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v248/vanity_case101/show9167.jpg
http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v248/vanity_case101/show9168.jpg
http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v248/vanity_case101/show9169.jpg
http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v248/vanity_case101/show91610.jpg
http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v248/vanity_case101/show91611.jpg

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v248/vanity_case101/show91612.jpg

ok, now here's a rundown, blue and i engaged in some siamese twin 69, brutality, obscenities of the highest order, and dave prejparing to piss on me!

check out AUD on myspace, bitches

gwar was fucking awesome
i met oderus and balsac
i gave them a dead bird
the were appreciative

nothing would please me more than to jump off a bridge
someone came through and i was reminded of my mother
needless to say i got depressed as hell....started crying at work
then went home
heres my new tattoo

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v248/vanity_case101/aa2d3592.jpg

my mother died saturday
that completely came out of left field
im ok, my dad's ok
we're all ok
my father suspects she choked in her sleep
her autopsy was monday...cause of death is "pending"
the mortuary did my mother no justice....she hardly looked like herself
we were pissed about that
she is to be cremated this week
so im back in titusville until saturday
there isnt a single thing about this place that i dont hate
and now that im back under the circumstances, i hate even more

im done talking about this

or this guys
http://www.bmezine.com/pierce/03-nose/A51005/high/bmegl142378.jpg

so its 4:30 in the morning, drinking some generic hawaiian punch
and thinking...
why cant i date this guy:
http://www.bmezine.com/pierce/01-ear/A50927/high/bmegl139861.jpg

in recent months i've spent as much time as possible concieving what i thought to be new and creative ideas
now, all of a sudden
i feel that some of them are not so new and creative
but old and,well, not so creative
so now, i am taking a step back
and assessing some things......but its really hard to do when i really had, and still do, faith in those ideas
in short, i will be reevaluating how i wanted to convey some things
and hopefully it wont turn out as disasterous as im thinking it will be
and in conclusion....i've decided that a house full of lesbians is no fun


oh yeah....fuck you paul....no, i am not a mansonite.
you'll never read this, but thats ok
at the very least, i can take comfort in knowing that i did not excessively abuse eye liner and wear the most god aweful of clothes
that and i dont dick slap and take scandalous pictures of my roommates when they're asleep

i didnt go to work cuz my lungs hate me
so i went shopping
they werent too happy about that
i think i have bronchitus

i got paid to day,YAY!!!!!
twas a pretty hefty check
rhonda and i went to wal-mart and priced some candles and some other things that we thought would add to the ambiance of my little party
they did not have from hell on dvd and that makes me sad...they did have fear and loathing and that makes me happy
im trying to turn emily's living room into a fully functional opium den
so i will be going to ross and buying some cumffy pillows and things of the sort
im going for "noir chic"
it's fucking absinthe bitches

i cut my hair tonight
and got rid of my sideburns....sorta
i met a boy.....sorta
that's the whole reason i cut my hair....sorta
im 20, that's young, right
cuz i feel old......not so much old as everyday is the same and the routine is old
boy is it old
to be honest....im really afraid
that's how its going to be from now own
the same....cuz that's all its been so far
a long fucking road with no scenery is what it feels like
that same stretch of highway you've been on for hours and not a break in the monotony in sight
you know, to be honest, if i got a boyfriend i really wouldnt know what to do with it
at this point.....do i REALLY know how to love or express something that isnt complete misanthropy and contempt
i mean, it's something that i think about all the time....having been so devoid of anything positive for such a long time has really left me lost and discouraged when it comes to those matters
what's it matter anyway.... no one in their right mind could ever want me
because im ugly, on the inside too